Careful what you wish for......I got the new job I was wanting!!!!! I am nervous and excited to do something new, yet old. It seems ages since I finished my nursing training, and for reasons I won't really elaborate on, I chose not to pursue it as a career. Mostly though, that decision was based in fear. Fear of failure, of not having what it took, of screwing up and hurting someone, of not being able to handle the pressure. Part of that was right, because with the anxiety issues I was having, I didn't feel capable of handling it. And I probably wasn't.
Since I started taking medication, I am finally able to see my fears more clearly, and feel ready to face them, which is HUGE for me. So, a couple of months back, I started to really think about going back to what I had wanted to do so long ago. I considered just taking a refresher and going for it, but then I decided to take some baby steps and look for a job in a clinic first and see how it felt for me. And that is how I got to this point. Whew.....new chapter time, folks. But I feel ready, even if a bit scared to look stupid. I know I know I should be used to it-heehee.
I sat down here to write my resignation letter for my current job, and the guilt over leaving them is making me procrastinate. They have been really acommodating (sp?) and I know they'll be a bit lost without me as far as covering holidays and such. It's so hard for them to find people who aren't useless, so I know they'll struggle a bit. I will miss them all too, it was a good group to work with, and there's certainly something to be said for that.
My feelings of guilt aren't enough to stop me from yelling "WOOHOO!" I will be free from that mind numbing, annoying, dirty job I had, and I will be challenged in a way that interests me. And I won't have to wear that ugly, embarrassing blue vest any more, double WOOHOO!
The kids have been home on spring break all week and it is now Friday-YAY! It's great to spend time with them, and they say they don't miss school but they complain A LOT about being bored unless they have friends here. Luckily a lot of friends have been around this week so it's been tolerable. I was thinking if I didn't get this job, then I might just quit and stay home for the summer...................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, What the FUCK was I thinking? No, I did my time at home, and momma needs other distractions, thankyou. I still get plenty of time with them so it all works out if you work 2-3 days a week.
My friend and I are dissolving the recycling business as of the end of summer so that'll be one less thing keeping me overly busy as well. She got preggers and since all the equipment was hers, I opted to give it up when she decided to. Which is totally cool with me, it was a lot of work for not much money. I just hope that all the people we got doing it who weren't before will keep on with it, and find some other way to take it to the depot.
Well the sun is shining madly today but they are calling for freezing temps this weekend so I need to herd everyone outside for some movement and fresh air. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!
Ciao bellas!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Once a month whether you like it or not....
Maybe this blog is like a menstrual cycle, a once a month purge??
I don't even know where to start.
My life has been so insanely busy that it is ridiculous. I don't know how people do this pace and enjoy it and succumb to it as normalcy. If it weren't for meds, I would have lost my flippin' mind. Working 4-5 days a week and having kids activities every night and most of the weekends has pretty much used up every single spare moment I have, and left me no time for cleaning or organizing or maintaining friendships, and certainly not for blogging. I have been reduced to reading them sporadically and not even having time to comment. Sad, really.
And because I'm a fucking sucker for punishment, I decided two weeks ago to paint my family room, which is an entire floor of the house. Yeah. Two weeks later, and I am pretty much done finally. I chose colors that are not in fashion, but are colors I love. Rox made me promise to take a before pic and I said I would, and then I promptly neglected to do so. However, I chose a deep rusty red for two walls, a golden ochre color for three walls, and a deep olive green for two. That's a lot of friggin walls if you ask me. I love it, but it is a lot darker and I need some more lighting in the space to warm it up the way I really want it.
Hockey is done now, as of yesterday. So is skating, and gymnastics, and we now have one more week of swimming and then it's all free and clear until soccer starts in May, so I will love the much needed break. Spring is trying to spring here, but every few days we get more cold and a bit of snow and then it all warms right up again, so I can't complain. I feel the fever starting, and I like it.
I also applied for a couple of new jobs, with the hope of less days of work and more money. We'll see. It would be a bit more challenging, which would be a refreshing yet scary change. Since I had my kids, I've taken fairly fluffy, simple, low stress jobs, and it was fine, but now I'm bored and frustrated with my work, and I want more. We'll see if it all pans out. If not, I may just take the summer off altogether and get some shit done around home. And relax, drink beer, and eat bonbons of course. Oh, and watch my kids fight and wish I had a job to go to so I could have a break from it all-haha.
Oh and I had a fucking root canal this week too. That was F-U-N. Sitting for three hours with your jaw cranked open and full of hardware. Good times. And my cracked tooth is still bothering me, which I don't get. If the root is gone, I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt anymore, isn't that the whole goddamn point?? So yeah, $2000 later and another appointment to go and another $300-$400 and I better be able to chew on the right side of my mouth after this. Fuck. Me no like. And I'm not even dentist phobic or anything. Imagine if I was, they would have to knock me out for that bullshit, let me tell ya.
My dog had her first haircut a while back and I didn't even have time to post the pics I took. She is so damn cute. We passed our puppy school class which was good cuz it was a little touch and go there, I thought. I was having a little moment about the shame of failing puppy school so I have to admit I was relieved when she did her stuff well and listened. Have I mentioned I love her?? Cuz I do. I had no idea I would love her so.
And that said, I have to corral some other little people, one of whom I love, and send my son and his friend to bed, cuz you KNOW they'll be up at the f-in crack of dawn even though they are up late, cuz that's the shit they do on weekends when there's no school and they should be tired and sleeping in. Remind me of the complaining when he's 14 and all he wants to do is sleep. I promised pancakes for breakfast so I should get my own crusty old ass to bed too.
Ciao for now, peeps. If anyone is still even out there that is.
I don't even know where to start.
My life has been so insanely busy that it is ridiculous. I don't know how people do this pace and enjoy it and succumb to it as normalcy. If it weren't for meds, I would have lost my flippin' mind. Working 4-5 days a week and having kids activities every night and most of the weekends has pretty much used up every single spare moment I have, and left me no time for cleaning or organizing or maintaining friendships, and certainly not for blogging. I have been reduced to reading them sporadically and not even having time to comment. Sad, really.
And because I'm a fucking sucker for punishment, I decided two weeks ago to paint my family room, which is an entire floor of the house. Yeah. Two weeks later, and I am pretty much done finally. I chose colors that are not in fashion, but are colors I love. Rox made me promise to take a before pic and I said I would, and then I promptly neglected to do so. However, I chose a deep rusty red for two walls, a golden ochre color for three walls, and a deep olive green for two. That's a lot of friggin walls if you ask me. I love it, but it is a lot darker and I need some more lighting in the space to warm it up the way I really want it.
Hockey is done now, as of yesterday. So is skating, and gymnastics, and we now have one more week of swimming and then it's all free and clear until soccer starts in May, so I will love the much needed break. Spring is trying to spring here, but every few days we get more cold and a bit of snow and then it all warms right up again, so I can't complain. I feel the fever starting, and I like it.
I also applied for a couple of new jobs, with the hope of less days of work and more money. We'll see. It would be a bit more challenging, which would be a refreshing yet scary change. Since I had my kids, I've taken fairly fluffy, simple, low stress jobs, and it was fine, but now I'm bored and frustrated with my work, and I want more. We'll see if it all pans out. If not, I may just take the summer off altogether and get some shit done around home. And relax, drink beer, and eat bonbons of course. Oh, and watch my kids fight and wish I had a job to go to so I could have a break from it all-haha.
Oh and I had a fucking root canal this week too. That was F-U-N. Sitting for three hours with your jaw cranked open and full of hardware. Good times. And my cracked tooth is still bothering me, which I don't get. If the root is gone, I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt anymore, isn't that the whole goddamn point?? So yeah, $2000 later and another appointment to go and another $300-$400 and I better be able to chew on the right side of my mouth after this. Fuck. Me no like. And I'm not even dentist phobic or anything. Imagine if I was, they would have to knock me out for that bullshit, let me tell ya.
My dog had her first haircut a while back and I didn't even have time to post the pics I took. She is so damn cute. We passed our puppy school class which was good cuz it was a little touch and go there, I thought. I was having a little moment about the shame of failing puppy school so I have to admit I was relieved when she did her stuff well and listened. Have I mentioned I love her?? Cuz I do. I had no idea I would love her so.
And that said, I have to corral some other little people, one of whom I love, and send my son and his friend to bed, cuz you KNOW they'll be up at the f-in crack of dawn even though they are up late, cuz that's the shit they do on weekends when there's no school and they should be tired and sleeping in. Remind me of the complaining when he's 14 and all he wants to do is sleep. I promised pancakes for breakfast so I should get my own crusty old ass to bed too.
Ciao for now, peeps. If anyone is still even out there that is.
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