The times they are a changin'

Careful what you wish for......I got the new job I was wanting!!!!! I am nervous and excited to do something new, yet old. It seems ages since I finished my nursing training, and for reasons I won't really elaborate on, I chose not to pursue it as a career. Mostly though, that decision was based in fear. Fear of failure, of not having what it took, of screwing up and hurting someone, of not being able to handle the pressure. Part of that was right, because with the anxiety issues I was having, I didn't feel capable of handling it. And I probably wasn't.

Since I started taking medication, I am finally able to see my fears more clearly, and feel ready to face them, which is HUGE for me. So, a couple of months back, I started to really think about going back to what I had wanted to do so long ago. I considered just taking a refresher and going for it, but then I decided to take some baby steps and look for a job in a clinic first and see how it felt for me. And that is how I got to this point. Whew.....new chapter time, folks. But I feel ready, even if a bit scared to look stupid. I know I know I should be used to it-heehee.

I sat down here to write my resignation letter for my current job, and the guilt over leaving them is making me procrastinate. They have been really acommodating (sp?) and I know they'll be a bit lost without me as far as covering holidays and such. It's so hard for them to find people who aren't useless, so I know they'll struggle a bit. I will miss them all too, it was a good group to work with, and there's certainly something to be said for that.

My feelings of guilt aren't enough to stop me from yelling "WOOHOO!" I will be free from that mind numbing, annoying, dirty job I had, and I will be challenged in a way that interests me. And I won't have to wear that ugly, embarrassing blue vest any more, double WOOHOO!

The kids have been home on spring break all week and it is now Friday-YAY! It's great to spend time with them, and they say they don't miss school but they complain A LOT about being bored unless they have friends here. Luckily a lot of friends have been around this week so it's been tolerable. I was thinking if I didn't get this job, then I might just quit and stay home for the summer...................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, What the FUCK was I thinking? No, I did my time at home, and momma needs other distractions, thankyou. I still get plenty of time with them so it all works out if you work 2-3 days a week.

My friend and I are dissolving the recycling business as of the end of summer so that'll be one less thing keeping me overly busy as well. She got preggers and since all the equipment was hers, I opted to give it up when she decided to. Which is totally cool with me, it was a lot of work for not much money. I just hope that all the people we got doing it who weren't before will keep on with it, and find some other way to take it to the depot.

Well the sun is shining madly today but they are calling for freezing temps this weekend so I need to herd everyone outside for some movement and fresh air. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!

Ciao bellas!