Choices, choices......

Gee, I don't think it's gonna bother me that I have last pick. Does it really look like it matters? How damn cute are they anyways? I mean, really. One is a bit more laid back and I'm kind of hoping for her, but it doesn't matter really. They're both sweet. 4 more weeks. Mama's got some shopping to do for the new baby. :)

I'm Ready

Hey there, ho there. My house is clean, my fridge is stocked, the kids are at a friend's, and I am finishing up some laundry in preparation for the return of my darling husband and his mother. I think I'm ready. No PMS to navigate either, that's all out of the way. Dare I say I feel good? I feel ready anyways.

My business partner and friend, W, and I are taking all the kids to a water park in the city tomorrow for the day, so we will be leaving hubby and MIL here to do as they wish, and hopefully that will work out nicely for all involved. Then on Friday, I am heading up the highway three hours north to go see the little baby girl puppy that is soon to be mine. I plan on taking lots of pictures!! I will make a pit stop on the way back to see an old friend and maybe a sister or two and make an entire day of it. So that's two days of avoidance, pretty good, eh? haha. After that, all bets are off. :@

I took some pics of the new bedding, now I just have to get them from the camera to here, that should take a little help from my darling hubby and then I'll have it all sorted. Give me time, I'll be all technical yet. Well, maybe not "ALL", but a little bit. Let's not push it here. I wouldn't want anyone having any grand expectations of me or anything, cuz then I'd be sure to disappoint. It's a hobby, really. At least from time to time it is.

Today was recycling day, and W did it all again this week while I did children duty. Next week I go again, and I have to say, I really enjoy going out on my own and having the solitude and the hard work combined. It is entirely refreshing and rejuvenating for me. No one talking to me for almost three hours, it's therapeutic. I never realized until recently how much I crave aloneness. I just needed to embrace my antisocial tendencies I guess. It's all good. It's who I am. Problem is, the more I have, the more I want. I'm beginning to understand those people who go live in the mountains all alone and live off the land. I would want someone else there, but not someone too demanding or needy. haha.

So wish me luck this week, I'll be back, hopefully with tales of success and fortitude. Or something close to it anyways.

Ciao.

Insert image here.

So I finally took the time to figure this out!

Happy Sunday all.

gone gone gone i've been gone so long

Well crap, another week has slipped by me in the wink of an eye. How does this happen? One minute it's Friday and then before I know it it's next Friday. I feel like I'm time traveling for fuck's sake.

Recap anyone?

Last weekend we ventured to Red Deer, (which is north of us about 1.75 hours), in order to see my two older sisters and my 25 year old nephew who left the following Tuesday to go for Basic Training for RCMP in Regina. I am pretty close with all of them, keeping all things in perspective and noting that it's all "relative"(haha). We were having a BBQ and staying over for the night with kids and all. It was sweltering hot so hubby and kids went to stay at a friends place who had room for them and whose house was not a friggin' sauna, and I stayed over with my two sisters so we could drink wine and visit late. Everyone's nerves were high since son and nephew were heading away for the real world now. And for some reason, it seemed that I was a bit of a target for mom and son to take some of it out on, so I have been struggling emotionally with some of that ever since. Whatever, I know they were anxious and stressed but they both said things out of the blue to me that were pretty hurtful and critical so I am sorting it out for myself. I spoke with her tonight and found the nerve to tell her how I felt and it was well received so that makes me feel validated at least. It's not a common occurrence so I know I just need to let it pass but I struggle with perspective on myself from time to time.

I then proceeded to work for three days and manage children and home and all that daily chore stuff, only to find that Thursday had arrived and my husband was leaving the next day to go on a fishing trip in Northern BC. So we had a nice night together last night and stayed up late visiting and then he was off to the airport this morning!! He had wanted us to go but since I am the queen of avoidance I opted out of going to see the MIL this year, only to be sucker punched when I heard she was coming back with him-haha! That's what I get for being such an avoider! So I am planning my strategies and making my lists and I will be ready goddamnit. Come hell or high water. Eek, says the little voice in my tummy. She is hard on me, always has been, always will be, and I need to somehow find a way to change the tide, and stop laughing and acting like I don't care that I'm being treated poorly. Blah! Are you sensing a trend here? Fuck.

So here it is Friday again, and I went shopping today after the airport, cuz that's what a girl does. I bought this new set of bedding I have wanted a while and it was pretty pricey but I decided it was time. We bought a new King size bed after Christmas and still hadn't purchased any new bedding to fit it except for the sheets, so it was long overdue. I don't like spending large amounts all in one shot like that, but after the initial nausea, I loosened up and proceeded to the hair salon to get myself a kick ass hair straightening iron I have been eying, and then a few other things, so it was HARD CORE on the Mastercard today and I kind of felt guilty and good at the same time. Sounds Catholic or something doesn't it?heehee. My bed is the prettiest it's ever been and I believe there's something to be said for that, at the risk of sounding very shallow or materialistic. Hot damn it's pretty though!

I also got Stereophonics, "Live at the Dakota", and it is smokin', thanks to Dickey for the music tip! I gotta burn one for Chunks! She's gonna love it! Speakin' of the lovely Chunks, she's in GP tonight, and we had some plans for all nighter on the phone but I'm thinking by the sounds of things down there, she opted for the sleepover, as would I. I'm hoping we get one in soon here, I miss her dearly. That's all, pass the beer nuts. And the beer while you're at it.

So Rock on dudes and dudettes, have a STELLAR weekend!!!

Fake Plastic Trees (I need some!)

Hey babieeeees! It is Friday, and it is hotter than a sonofabitch here. When you are a wimpy Canadian who is used to 8 months of shitass weather all year, it's hard not to feel a bit of pain when the dry hot arrives. Mama's melting. I need me some trees in the yard for shade, a keg of Coors Light, and several good books to read. Oh, and maybe that smokin' gorgeous outdoor daybed I saw at Costco yesterday. I was salivating. Seriously. It was pimped.

My much awaited Costco trip was not what I had hoped for. Alas and alack, I spent the entire day in the city shopping and was finishing up with an hour of shopping every aisle only to have my full grocery cart removed whilst I took my children to the bathroom. Gone. Fucking disappeared. I was so pissed I was sputtering and fuming, and I fed the kids a hotdog, lodged my complaint, got my $25 voucher for my pain and suffering, and hit the fucking road empty handed. Go figure. It wasn't my most shining moment in the spectrum of my psychosis, but what's the mother of the endlessly whining 8 year old boy to do? But fucking lose it that is. All is not lost, we are better now. Next time I go it alone. Don't know what I was thinking anyways to be completely honest. Once, not twice. Right?

I burned my little buddy the Chunkster some cd's last night and I'm test listening to one of them right now. Fuck, Radiohead is the SHIT! This cd, The Bends, is pure beauty. It gives me chills even after listening to it for years and years now. They are gorgeous, absolutely and undeniably. So spectacular in concert too. Makes my heart feel elevated and full. I love music, could NOT live without it, all kinds, all sounds. It is sustenance, like food and drink.

Signed up another client today, two new ones last week, so I am a happy little recycling camper here. It is coming along nicely and makes me feel so good to be doing. Why didn't I think of this sooner?? I am not a business person, I provide the passion, thank you very much. That's why I need a partner:) I get anxious with too many details to think about.

Everyone please try to remember what a great life you have today. Some of the people around you are lonely and stressed and over extended, and may need a hand extended. Always count your blessings, in amongst all the shit that goes on day to day. I hate to sound like the egomaniacal O person, but remember to be grateful. It is so integral to feeling peaceful at points in your day.

Sending love out to all. Have a relaxing time this weekend, take it for yourself.

Fascination street (or the like)

Yesterday was one of those days when everyone was cranky and bored and spent most of the day arguing or in their rooms. I have higher hopes for this day. I am sleeping in most days so I wake up feeling like I wasted some of the day, but I should just enjoy it I think. My kids are finally big enough that I don't need to be up with them the minute they awaken, and it's really only the non-sleeper, my son, who gets up early anyways. Little gal and I roll out of bed about 9 it seems.

I am putting out the Costco feeler today but it is not being really well received. I may just go anyways since it has been months and I have major shopping withdrawals. There is only so much damage you can do at your local Wal mart. I have to drag both kids along with me for recycling business day tomorrow so I am thinking I will have to bribe them big time if I want to get great behavior and cooperation out of them two days in a row. We're looking at a game rental and lunch at Raunchy Ronnie's for this one. Maybe even ice cream, truth be told.

Em said something about an exodus to Alberta and I just think that would be lovely. Even Alberta is not as conservative as most of the southern states, so you're good to go. And lots of oil and gas, if Eduardo is experienced, he's in like Flynn. Whoever Flynn is. Then we just need Torn and Serge and Rebekah to come, and then JT and his gang, and we're like one big happy blogging family. Home schooling is quite popular in Calgary and there is a huge group that does events together and such. I know a few people who do it here and I know there is a great deal of freedom, you just follow the curriculum and they provide money and books, etc. and you are free to do as you please for the most part. The actual hours spent are minimal compared to the hours most kids spend in the schools. But Em probably already knows that.

Things are pretty quiet in the blogosphere of late, thank goodness for the hardcores like Chunks, Patricia, and Dawn, or my pc life would be dull and empty. I still somehow manage to spend more time than is likely healthy in front of this thing, this altar at which I seem to worship. I often think it is just another distraction I provide myself with to avoid seeking that which would challenge me creatively but whatever. If not this, then macrame or word find puzzles. I stop at nothing to avoid self actualization don't ya know. heehee.

And on that note, I will say goodbye, Happy Tuesday, and all that other good stuff.

And grace,too

I apologize if I gave anyone the impression that I am a disliker of the thunderstorm. Not I, said the curly haired girl. I LOVE thunderstorms, walking in the rain, and all sounds and smells associated with them. However, tornadoes are not something I am a huge fan of. Nope, not even a little bit, me no like. Just clearin' that up.

Where have I been, you may ask? Well, it is a long and sordid tale, full of action, angst, and the like, none of which I will bore you with, but suffice it to say, I am happy it is Friday!!!!! I had some family here on and off for the past week, and it was busy and a bit codependent and frustrating, but all in all, it was good and can be now perceived as a positive experience in hindsight-haha. I wish I were better able to cohesively relate to and enjoy some of the moments of my life as they are happening, rather than just appreciating them in retrospect. Ah, the art of flailing, as Em so aptly put it, I am a master. A grand fucking master, actually. :)

So now it is Friday, and I spent the better part of the evening on a long phone call with my youngest sister, who lives in Vancouver, laughing and talking and sharing, and it was so nice and relaxing and centering. And the four beers didn't hurt either. I am finally reaching the point where I just don't take on any of the stuff that is going on around me when I am taking time for myself, and although I know my husband is tired and cranky, I believe in his ability to cope on his own while I talk, and I choose not to take it personally that he is feeling hard done by. I feel like I have a measure of grace today and I like it. These moments are few and fleeting, so I must milk them for all they are worth, damn it.

In case you are unaware of the song title reference, Chunks, it is The Tragically Hip, another band whom I adore and own every album from.

Happy Day 1 of the Calgary Stampede!! May your knackers not be tied in a knot as you are ridden around a large overcrowded arena by a large man with spurs on his boots. Gotta love them cowboys tho, they're just so damn cute. Can't help it. It's a childhood thing......

Ciao babies. Have a supercalafragalistic weekend.