I am not a big fan of transitioning. Nope, not really my thing. I like a comfy groove, a regular routine, with a little spice here and there to keep things interesting, but no major upheavals is fine with me.
Thus, I am feeling a bit lost. I left my job, which I loved, in a fit of anger and disgust, and then found myself wondering what I really wanted. The job can be obtained elsewhere with the same hours and pay, yet I hesitate to pursue it. Even though I loved it, my life was too busy a lot of the time, with after school care, and overtime with the doctors, and now the fall activities have started....So I think to myself that maybe this was some karmic thing where I am meant to be elsewhere, even though I hesitate to embrace such lofty notions of fate vs. chance. People say that things are "meant to be" but I wonder about such belief systems. If that were truly the case, does that mean that all the starving, abused, suffering people in the world were meant to have such awful lives? I just can't buy it. So anyways,.......I tend to re-evaluate my endoctrinations and think that this may be an opportunity to find another avenue in nursing that will provide more flexibility and rewards in the form of client interaction.
So......I accepted a job doing home care. I think it will be fine, but it may bore me. Which brings me to the next part of the sordid problem I am having. I could refresh my RN and get back into that and go the whole route of Community Health that I had originally wanted all those years ago before I fell off the tracks, so to speak. The idea of this frightens me, though. With that title comes a great deal of responsibility, and I am a bit of an avoider in that dept. Maybe it's time I grew up. I don't know. And the course is completely FREE now, since the demand is so high for nurses, so I'd be nuts not to do it.
Still I hesitate. I made the call and have a date and time for the next info session. I guess I'll just go and see what happens. How I feel. That sort of thing.
Did I mention how much I hate transition?
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About Me
- Devo
- I am a 40 and lovin'it. Except for when I'm not. I am wife to one, mother to two, and friend to several. Just trying to live my life peacefully.
5 comments:
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much!
I am a big believer in what is meant to be will be. I think you might be back on the path that you originally started on back in the day and life has just steered you back there. It's serendipity baby, embrace it!!!
It's always weird when you change your routine and things are different. Sounds like you are changing the course of your life and that is scarey. But I can't think of a better time to do that at 40. Hang on sister. I bet it's a great ride. What do you have to lose?
but do you realize the shitload of $$ you can make as a nurse? LOLOLOL oh that so sounded like something a Conservative would say...
I think Rox is a good advisor.
This is going to sound terrible Devo and I really have a lot of love in my heart, but I guess at some point I stopped struggling against the suffering. I mean, look at my life, its sort of difficult and someone walking past me on the street wouldn't realize it. But I still want my life as difficult as it is, and maybe there are hidden nice things that you wouldn't know if you weren't doing that suffering. Or maybe, and this is some new agey idea that people were throwing around after the planes hit the buildings, maybe people suffer on purpose (you know, on a higher self level) in order to grow their heart or help others to grow theirs. I guess it all comes down to seeing through the glass darkly as they say in the bible.
If you are just running from the responsibility, then do it with an open heart. That is just childhood crap stopping you from becoming a leader, and I think having read you for awhile now that you would make a compassionate and kind leader.
Of course by now you have already done something. What is it?
Oh, and transitions. I hate them too. I found an inspirational blogger life coach type I'm thinking about following though. She specializes in unstuckingness. Her site is fluentself.com
I hope you are having a lovely Tuesday. It's Taco Tuesday here in southern California. Fish tacos for a dollar. And remember that tomorrow is April Fools Day. I'll fall for something crazy anyway, I'm sure.
Thinking of you and sending love...
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