I'm Back.

MIL left yesterday morning. I think I survived. I am all in one piece, maybe even a tad wistful. It wasn't easy for me, and she and I were both crunchy for a few days each, but we steered clear and I thought a lot about what was bothering me in the moment and why. Last night, when she got home, she called and asked to speak to me, which NEVER happens, and it was to say a proper goodbye as she hadn't done so prior and to thank me for having her, so I felt soft after that, and shed a tear. I am a silly fool about relationships all my life, and lament my and certain other's inability to connect meaningfully. I then periodically try to accept and mourn the loss. I am an odd duck I suppose. Or maybe not.

We had other guests as well. Friends from where we lived prior to moving back to Alberta. Great family, one of the gems we found there that made my loneliness in that cold sea of people more bearable. They stayed the night and most of the next day on their way home from little dude's visit at his mom's in GP. It was nice, but I was relieved to have my house back after the marathon with MIL and all the activity of late. Ever since, I have been cranky and all backwards in my body and spirit. Hmph. I am such a delicate flower, apparently, and am annoyed with myself for it. I am just annoyed in general really.

I worked today most of the day,which was probably better for my family and was certainly a welcome break from all their neediness. I am hoping hubby's return to work tomorrow will provide me with more peace and quiet and I can get my head sorted out again. I was pleased that he took the time and effort to speak with his mom prior to their arrival about what was and was not acceptable for us in our home and validating my feelings to her. It is never too little too late with me, and I felt relief that he finally gave that to us, to me. She said some things that surprised me as well so I have some things to think about.

So thank you all for your thoughts while I have been toiling in the zone over here, and I have to say I did manage to get on and at least read most nights so I maintained some sanity that way. I realized just recently that the blogging is a way for me to be alone even if the house is full of people and it is a valuable tool in that way.

All this weekend, it was our local Rodeo and Heritage Days so it was 5 days of midway, rodeo, trade fair, and a little fireworks. It ended today. We spent some time there on Saturday and it was fun. Everyone else went home after a bit and me and little gal stayed and hung out together which was a really nice treat for both of us. She is such a sweet and funny little person, with this tender little heart. It is always easy with her, even when it's not. I get her. I find much greater challenges with my son, I don't always relate to his inner workings, and it makes it a lot trickier for me to find my way with him. This frustrated me a lot the past couple of days, and I was cranky with him, so I feel unsuccessful as a parent today. Blahhh! I know that is just normal and all that but I am tired.

Goodnight all you lovelies, I must take my crusty old self to bed now.