Well I think I was delusional. You know when I thought to myself, having a puppy can't be that much work. Well it is. Mostly because I am trying to teach this little monkey to use only one area of the yard, and that is much easier said than done, apparently. She lets some out where I want her to, and then she trots off when I let her off the leash, and deposits some more wherever she can. This is driving me bonkers. I want to just let her poop wherever the hell she likes, I am so done with it, but I promised my darling husband that I would do this, and apparently that fucking contract is binding for life. Fuck me.
She is a little sweetie though, and has got her name figured out and some of the other nuances of her little life. The kids just love her to pieces, and spend lots of time playing with her. Of course, they are returning to school on Thursday, and I am very much looking forward to that. They have become bored and belligerent, and they spend a lot of time fighting with one another, so I'm done. I need them gone, and we can all get a new routine going again. I feel a bit insane this past week, and if you knew how I am, that means completely f-ing bonkers!
My daughter, the chronic pooh holder, is at it again, even though I have her on all sorts of natural healthy stuff to keep things going, and so she resists and is getting more and more crazy with the whole thing as the days pass. she gets so agitated and emotional when she does this, and it escalates and escalates until she is in pain and has chronic heartburn and is completely plugged again. ARGH! It is so frustrating. It is a total control thing with her and I try so many different strategies with her, and none really work long term. I am afraid she'll be so plugged by Thursday that she will be crazy and manic and out of control her first day of grade 1. Time for some chocolate ex lax perhaps?? Damn it all.
Because school is starting again, I am going to try to change some of my work hours again and hopefully work a couple of day shifts and only one evening, but I have a new boss now, so we shall see if it all pans out as I wish it to. I'm a bit spoiled at my job, I just say when I want to work and they say ok, but I'm not sure if this new guy will be as accommodating. Then all of the sports and volunteering can start again, and I will feel like I'm losing my mind again. I try to tell myself to relax and be in the moment more instead of stressing and rushing but it's hard for me to do. I need to start some yoga and some zen breathing or something before my head explodes. Who's got friggin time tho? One more day, one more day, and then I can make some time for me.............................where's some cold beer?
As you can see, I am overwhelmed and counting the minutes until I can have some peace and quiet, and hopefully more poop in all the places I need it to be. Oh and beer of course.
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9 comments:
I love puppies but the last two dogs I got were about a year old. That somewhat eliminates some of the early work but you miss that adorable puppy thing.
What's your favorite beer?
This reminds me of Em's girl. She had the same trouble at the same age. I was shocked to learn that she pooped only once a week. Shocked! Then her husband turned to me and said, "Yeah, and sometimes I've got to go in and break it up with a stick so it'll go down." Totally deadpan. It still makes me giggle even though girl is a teenager now.
Well, that's shitty. Pun intended.
I say give the girl some bowel cleaner and let the shit fly! Does she want to go to Grade 1? Tell her no school until she poops. Then tell her if she doesn't go to school the police will come and take you away so unless she wants to see mama behind bars, she better go poo.
Now, about the pup? Tell hubby I said to get over it. Eventually, you will be taking her for nice long walks and she will be doing the majority of her business on someone else's grass anyway! Buy him a big bottle of Uncle Buck's Lawn Repair for Dog Urine Spots and tell him to STFU.
I seriously should have three husbands. All the more to bitch at.
My kids and my hubby should write a tell-all book about what it is like to live with a crazy person.
oh how the puppy stuff makes me smile. my lil brat is a little over a year but she still seems like she has sooo much puppy in her.
i agree with rox, indi poops more on walks (and then of course i get the joy of carrying her poop) than she does in her own yard.
have you tried creating "boundaries" for her? seriously, i read this a few different places. see if you can collect some pee (i know it sounds ridiculous) and then put in on the lawn in the perimeter that you want her to know is her "potty garden". that's actually what one guy called it. freak. anyway, it's worth a try and cheaper than flying in the dog whisperer. however i'd be willing to pay half his fee if we can share him. maybe rox will go in, too.
As Torn has already noted, I raised a "holder" too. Try letting her eat as many canned peaches as she wants... two or three halves usually did the trick. Does yours take on that greenish tinge to her skin? That always made me feel nervous. It usually happened right before she finally blew. I'm curious, does she also withhold her feelings? Girl would sooner eat sauteed squash than tell me anything about what she is feeling. Half the time I think she doesn't even know herself.
Ah motherhood. Which is why I so strongly resist the begging to get a baby pet. It makes me tired to think of all the training and wrecked furniture and ugh. What does it all end in? Drooly, arthritic pets!
Am I too negative today?
Chocolate Exlax...haha...that would leave her control-freakish nature in the dust.
Hope things settle down for you real quick hon.
Hey babe, I bought "Fibre Sure" at Walmart today (part of the purchase from bitch Penny - read my blog and you'll know what I am saying) and it's tasteless and gritless, so spike her food. I am planning that. My grade one kid is having a hell of a time adjusting to this shit - all nerves. Makes me sad as that is how I was for all 12 fucking years. She was so cranky today I could have sworn she was pms-ing.
Ok, I don't feel sorry for you with the dog pooping all over the yard. Mine shits in my bedroom in front of the closet door mirrors. Maybe he's some sort of sicko and likes to watch himself lay some coils? Too gross to think about. She knows to pee outside but if we aren't right there reading her signs, he pisses on the floor. Sorry, I mixed genders - all my pets thus far have been boys.
Anyway, good luck with the dog and grade one.
ok, after wiping up 30 pisses tonight, and a huge pile of shite, i think Mr. Devo can cope with some shittage on his lawn, for the love of sweet Jesus!
Mr.Devo.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
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